honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize