one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
