i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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