Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize