FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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