She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
