I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
