I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize