dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
