i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize