WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
