wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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