Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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