i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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