Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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