so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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