Its about making memories worth repressing
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
