Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
