OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
