I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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