How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My dick has a subreddit
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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