Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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