I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I need a burrito and a hug.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
