I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
