She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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