Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
