Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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