We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Bring me that man meat
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
