I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
