I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
