I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
