We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
