I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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