God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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