His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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