i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
