you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
