Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
