Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
