I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
