I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
