ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
