There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
