Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
