I'm jealous of your bromance
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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