Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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