Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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