I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
