If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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