You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize