Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
