we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
