I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
