she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
