Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
