ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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