if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Your cock deserves a montage
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize