I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
