Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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