It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize