Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
